Facing the Mess: My Take on Step Eight

“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”- Step Eight, Minnesota Model

Let’s be real, the first time I heard about Step Eight, I thought—nope, this can’t be good. Listing everyone I’d hurt? Yikes. My stomach basically did a backflip. But now, sitting here in an addiction treatment centre and actually working through it, I’ve started to see it with new eyes. Step Eight isn’t about piling on guilt—it’s more like finally wiping the mud off your glasses so you can see straight.

The List

Making the list was no walk in the park. Honestly, it felt like digging up stuff I’d buried and hoped would just stay buried. Some faces came to mind right away—family, friends, a couple of exes. But then others popped up: the guy I owed money to, the friends I ghosted, people I let down without even realizing it. Turns out, my “Oops, sorry!” list was longer than I wanted to admit. But hear me out, this wasn’t about beating myself up. It was about being straight with myself for the first time in ages, something my counsellor at the facility keeps reminding me is the real goal here.

What “Harm” Means

I used to think “harm” meant some blockbuster-level mistake—like smashing someone’s car or stealing from grandma. Nope. Sometimes it’s just letting someone down, breaking a promise, or making someone feel invisible. Addiction made me super self-absorbed, and Step Eight kinda nudged me to take off those blinders. One of the surprising lessons I’ve learned in the addiction treatment centre is that harm can be subtle but still deeply felt, and acknowledging that is where healing really starts.

Getting Willing (Even When You’re Not)

Look, the “becoming willing” part isn’t exactly a cakewalk. Some folks on my list? They’re not gonna pick up if I call. Others, I might never see again. And there are a few I’m honestly scared to talk to. But I’m learning that willingness is really just about being ready on the inside. Ready to take responsibility, even if I can’t fix everything. That’s a pretty big deal for me, and it’s something I wouldn’t have gotten to without the structure and support of an addiction treatment centre.

Unexpected Peace

Here’s the cool part: after doing this step, I felt something I wasn’t expecting…peace. Not the “I’ve reached enlightenment” kind, but more like a quiet moment where I stopped running from myself. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but there’s a softness now. There’s hope, too. Maybe I’ll get to rebuild some bridges, maybe not. Either way, I’m finally doing what I can.

For Anyone Starting Step Eight

Yeah, it’s tough. It stings. But it’s also a huge relief. You don’t have to drag the weight of denial around forever. Looking back isn’t about staying stuck; it’s about getting honest so you can move forward lighter. Step Eight handed me a mirror. And this time, I actually looked.

Ocean Bay Recovery is here to walk alongside you through every stage of healing. Our addiction treatment centre combines proven therapies, compassionate care, and a safe space to face the past while building a stronger future.

Visit OceanBayRecovery.com or call +27 10 500 2171 today.