“We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
Step 9 is a significant milestone in the addiction recovery journey. This step is about more than just recognising past mistakes; it’s about taking actionable steps to repair the damage we’ve done through our addiction. By making amends, we start to heal not only our relationships but also ourselves. It’s a step that requires courage and honesty, but the benefits are well worth the effort.
It’s about taking responsibility for our actions and showing through our behaviour that we’re committed to making things right. This helps rebuild trust with others and allows us to shed the guilt and shame that may have held us back. By making amends, we open the door to moving forward with a clearer conscience and a lighter heart.
Direct Amends
Direct amends involve actively apologising and repairing the harm we’ve caused. This might include repaying the money we owe, apologising sincerely, or correcting a mistake. The idea is to take specific actions that demonstrate our commitment to change. For example, if we’ve wronged someone by breaking a promise, direct amends would involve not only apologising but also making a concrete effort to fulfil that promise now.
However, it’s important to approach direct amends carefully. Sometimes, reaching out directly might not be the best option, especially if it could cause more harm or distress to the other person. In these situations, it’s important to consider the impact of our actions and proceed with caution, possibly seeking advice from a sponsor or addiction recovery counsellor.
Indirect Amends
When direct amends aren’t possible or could potentially cause more harm, we can make indirect amends. Indirect amends involve changing our behaviour and living in a way that reflects our commitment to correcting the behaviour that caused potential harm in the first place. This might mean contributing positively to the community, helping others in need, or practising honesty and integrity in our daily lives.
For instance, if it’s not possible to apologise directly to someone we’ve hurt because it might reopen old wounds, we can make indirect amends in addiction recovery by dedicating ourselves to helping others who are struggling in similar ways. Living amends, where we consistently demonstrate our changed behaviour over time, is also a powerful form of indirect amends.
Facing the Past
Step 9 can be intimidating because it requires us to confront our past actions and the people we’ve hurt. It’s natural to feel anxious about this, but it’s important to remember that making amends is a key part of addiction recovery. By taking responsibility for our actions, whether through direct or indirect amends, we start to free ourselves from the burden of our past mistakes and create a path to a better future.
The Positive Impact of Making Amends
Making amends, whether direct or indirect, can have a ripple effect, leading to healing for both us and those we’ve hurt. It can restore relationships, rebuild trust, and create a more honest and open environment in our lives. Through the process of making amends, we show others—and ourselves—that real change is possible and that we are serious about our addiction recovery.
Ready to take the next step in your addiction recovery? Reach out to Ocean Bay Recovery today and continue your journey towards a healthier, sober life.
